Ode to the Month

I do not like you, February.

You’re dark and cold and quite contrary.

You thaw and freeze and ice and blow.

You live on sleet and dirty snow.

Why tear the groundhog from his den,

Just to watch him go back in?

Why soil the name of Good Valentine

With chalky hearts that say “Be mine?”

Your chocolate’s cheap, you February!

All shiny foil and teddy bear-y.

My calendar’s squares all are blanks,

“Relax a bit,” I sigh with thanks.

But that’s a lie that March has sent,

Just turn the page and bam! It’s Lent.

March- hold on, I’ll get to you!

I’ve got a few choice words to spew.

You bluster and whine and rain in drams,

Then dress it up in lions & lambs.

Oh, bitter months, I shall decry

Another name to call ye by.

I’ll put you both ‘neath one brusque arch

And declare that you are… Farch!

This onomatopaeic name

Is suited to your dual ill-fame.

Ha-ha! I farch in your direction.

It gives me low-brow satisfaction.

I giggle, chortle, and guffaw-

It feels good to clear my craw.